vectorbelly:

Twitter: The Comic is a collection of comics based on the greatest tweets of our generation. The source material is used verbatim, typos and all. Despite the seemingly random nature of the tweets, the comic has reoccurring characters and story arcs that aren’t fully understood unless experienced through a single reading. With explicit permission from the writers of each comic, Twitter: The Comic could be a pretty rad book.


willrun4chocolate:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

I was about to go into a rant about GM foods, but after actually reading the whole post, I’m glad I didn’t

Well, this brightened my day a little bit.

willrun4chocolate:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

I was about to go into a rant about GM foods, but after actually reading the whole post, I’m glad I didn’t

Well, this brightened my day a little bit.


Bill Cosby Part 4

Final stretch of his segment. Still hilarious. 

For more, check out Tempestt Bledsoe’s segments on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon


Billy Cosby Part 3

JUST as funny as the rest of his segment. Instant good mood alert.


Bill Cosby Part 2 (1/4/13)

Bill Cosby threw a coin into the tuba.

Now that he’s older, Bill talks to Jimmy about connecting with younger generations and uses The Roots to demonstrate. Part 2 of 2.


Bill Cosby Part 1 (1/4/13)

If you want to be happy, watch this video.

Now that he’s older, Bill talks to Jimmy about connecting with younger generations and uses The Roots to demonstrate. Part 1 of 2.


fuzzyhelenkeller:

this kid just never quits lol


buttgenie:

i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens


bustedtees:

BustedTees drops 6 brand new releases this week.  Knope We CanCray CrayEat Shit,MonotonyPuzzles, & Sherlock Holmies!



susancrowell:

You will probably laugh only if you’re a word/grammar geek like me. It showed up multiple times in my Facebook feed, so you know the cool circles I hang in.

susancrowell:

You will probably laugh only if you’re a word/grammar geek like me. It showed up multiple times in my Facebook feed, so you know the cool circles I hang in.


rcruzin:

fluffyisthename:

Wish I had the fucking guts ! ahaha


girlwhowasonfire:

SHIT NOBODY SAYS.

Reblogging solely for the Whitney joke.


I wanna thank my daughter, Alice, for being the funniest person in my family. For coining phrases like “I want to go to there” and sometimes just putting on pretend make-up in the mirror, and she’ll turn to me and say, “I look like Barack Obama.” She has somehow gotten it in her head that it’s a good thing to resemble a famous politician. I don’t know where she got that idea.


Reblog / posted 2 years ago via · © almacoin with 1,862 notes

perfecttouchofrebellion:

cuatroquesos:

The Hunger Games trailer spoof. PERFECT.

Omfg. This is like… one of the best things I’ve ever seen! :o